Ok so it’s the evening of February 11th and like a true New Year Goaler, I didnt last long with my goals, and barely even really started them. It’s time to get it back.
I ‘m on vacation this week. It’s a Stay-Cation where I am just resting up and trying to get my life in order. I gave myself off the last two days, Sunday and Monday to just rest, watch Netflix, read a little, and spend WAY too much time on social media doing nothing.
For the rest of the week I am going to try to go really clean to give my body a reboots. Water, lots and lots of water, chicken, tuna, fruits and veggies, no dairy, no bread, protein, and get some rest AND exercise.
I ‘m going to try to reboot, reenergize, restart, and gain back my life that I have just let go. I saw a picture from myself from just four or five years ago and I was smiling, vibrant, full of life, my smile was SO big, and I just looked (and felt) so much better then. I need to get it back.
I dont want to be perfect yet or tiny or anything, I need to start with even just 20-30 pounds. I would even go for no weight lost, but vitality and life given back to me. A bright skin ton, sparkling eyes, pep in my step, and pride in my walk. Just want ME back. ….And it’s time I get it.
I was looking at old pictures of me that really, I thought, made me “happy.” Pictures of where I was thin, and remember feeling larger than life, and that I look back on as “the good times” or “the good years.” However… I just told myself wait… remember what you felt, how you thought, and what you were doing back then? I really took the moment to think about it and reflect. I realized something huge… back then I was feeling frustrated, fighting to feel important, fighting to feel good about myself, feeling inadequate, hiding behind what I wanted to be and who I wanted to be, and you know what? I dont think I TRULY felt much more confident or secure than I do now! So WHY do I look back on those times and think “oh those were the good times” and “man if I could just go back.” It’s time to stop making myself feel bad looking at old pictures where I was feeling bad! Is that what I have let my life become? Just feeling BAD all the time and letting that stop me? YES. IT. IS. And you know, I think it’s finally time I stop it.
It’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself. And if I ‘m honest, I ve felt sorry for myself my entire life. For as long as I remember, I have thought I had it hard, or tough, hated who I was, wanting to be something else, thinking that everything is so bad for me, or I was treated so unfairly, or my life just stinks. When in reality, I ‘m not sure one single person has gone through life without a challenge. Even those who are happy, they too I bet have hard challenges. I have to create my own happiness. I cant keep just expecting that life is going to do something for me, or something is going to come, or if I just get this next promotion I ll feel good, or if I ‘m just at the right place at the right time it will be good, or if if if if if THEN it will be good.
I HAVE TO MAKE IT GOOD NOW! I HAVE TO CHANGE MY THOUGHTS! I NEED TO GET OFF THE COUCH! I NEED TO STOP GIVING MY LIFE TO TV AND DREAMS AND FICTION! I KNOW I AM AND CAN BE SOMEONE GREAT! I KNOW I AM MEANT FOR MORE! I DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS! I AM NOT A LOSER! I AM NOT MEANT TO SUFFER! I AM NOT MEANT TO BE UNLOVED! I AM NOT MEANT TO BE MISERABLE!
I however AM meant to learn from my life so far to realize what is important and what is not, and to improve one step at a time. It’s time to let myself be imperfect and take small steps to treating my mind, body, and soul right. It’s time for a new me.
AND SO… tomorrow I make a conscientious effort to eat better! To feel better! The think better! …I am going to spring clean my apartment and really gut it out. Get rid of anything I dont like, wear, need, and get my life squared away.
I need a fun slogan. I think this time of my life will be called, “She Believed She Could; And SO SHE DID!” Over and out! 😉
TheDailySpark 